As a new parent, the prospect of flying with a baby is a Very Scary Thing.
Whilst G is a crowd-pleaser, lapping up all the attention from old ladies and shop assistants, he’s also known to get cabin fever if we stay in the same space for a long time.
Unfortunately, the whole point of air travel is that you stay in the same space… for a long time.
During the weeks leading up to us travelling, I would lament to anyone and everyone about the dread that was sinking in about being That Person on the flight with a screaming baby.
What if he just doesn’t stop crying?
What if he starts screaming?
What if there’s a massive sleepsuit-filling poosploshion?
Responses ranged from “he won’t” (he might!) to “just use your nipples” (he has teeth now y’know!) or “it’s only four hours” (TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN IN FOUR HOURS. THE TITANIC SANK IN THREE).
Jokes aside, G was pretty good ON the plane. But there are a million and one other factors which I hadn’t even considered before arriving at Gatwick; this is what you’ll probably get up to…